Baby showers and begging

begging kitty

I have mixed feelings about baby showers, or really any event that includes doing a registry. I know it’s accepted and normal, but it all ends up feeling a bit like begging to me. Dean and I didn’t register for our wedding. In fact, because we were already living together and struggling to find room for all our kitchen stuff in our little complex unit, we asked for NO kitchen presents, saying that cash was always appreciated instead. It still felt awkward, but it’s one of those odd traditional things. People like to give gifts for birthdays, weddings and baby stuff, but it just seems weird to ask.

I went this weekend to go look at Baby City for potential registry. It was sort of a disappointment, though, mainly because Baby City is idiotic with this stuff. You can only register 3 weeks before the baby shower, and all the things you pick out are just dumped in a bin in that specific Baby City. The fact that they don’t let you go further in advance, or have it listed online to make things easier for those who live closer to other outlets, just seems dumb to me. Now I don’t even see the point of registering; it’s more convenient to just give people a list of cool websites and the names of the preferred brands that I want and leave it at that.

I am excited for the baby shower, mainly because I think it will be a lot of fun. Stacey has some cool ideas for surprises and is doing so much to plan and organize everything, it’s awesome. I have some funky ideas that I think will make it unique – I love to think of all the books that people will bring and I’m excited by the Star Wars “theme”. Plus, it will include men and women instead of the typical ladies-only event, which should make it more fun.

So yes, I think the event itself will be a lot of fun, and I’m amped to see so many people who I really like just before Dean and I grow our little family and probably fall off the social map for a while. I’m happy for it just to be a massive braai with a fun theme and some rad pictures of me looking huge and eating all the things. But there is that registry part of it all, and it just feels like begging to me. I know that I’ve gone to baby showers before, and it’s nice to have the opportunity to spoil soon to be parents with cool presents for the baby (and sometimes the parents, too). But to be the one asking for stuff, to make a list of things that I want… it just feels a bit weird to me.

I suppose I need to get over myself. I will make it clear to everyone invited that the main present is their presence – any gift that they want to bring is purely a bonus and really not a price of entry. I know some people WANT to spoil Harley before she even arrives, to have an excuse to buy silly and adorable baby things, or to buy useful and creepy items that apparently all parents need. I just don’t want anyone to feel like by inviting them I’m somehow reaching into their pocket…

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  • I also feel that a registry is like begging in a way. It however avoids the nuisance of exchanging duplicate gifts or sitting with items that you will never really use. Good luck with the planning, I’m sure its going to be an awesome day x

    • Zoe

      Yeah, trying to look at it as a convenience for those who choose to bring a present. Still feels weird.

  • I was and am uncomfortable with the idea of baby registries too. My thought was that my husband and I decided to have this baby so we would see to it that he had everything. But family and friends get excited and want to give things which I understand because I’ve been on the other side of that. So I just gave whoever was organizing my shower a list of things that we still needed and the preferred brands – but stated that they didn’t NEED to get from that and could get anything they felt that they wanted to give. Because a gift is a gift and you shouldn’t look that horse in the mouth.

    • Zoe

      Agreed – I’ve wanted to buy people presents and it’s nice to know what they would like. But yes, will make sure everyone knows that these aren’t demands, but simply requests.

  • kb

    I very much agree. We never had a wedding registry either. And even further, never had a baby shower. But if we did, I wanted a co-ed one. Hope you have a blast.

    • Zoe

      Thanks! I’m hoping it’s fun and that people have a good time – regardless of if they bring presents or not! 🙂

  • I got way too much stuff at my work baby shower it was actually uncomfortable. On the plus side I exchanged stuff I didn’t use – right up to a few months ago I sold my untouched Bath Dam.
    So the work was too much but the friends one – that was special. Just nice to have that with my friends.

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