It’s hot, I’m uncomfortable, I’m tired and generally feeling overwhelmed and sorry for myself today. I can’t help but feel like I’m a mess today, and I guess that’s okay, but it still isn’t fun. At this point, I wish that there were a nice cool cave for me to disappear into for the next few weeks – to avoid the heat and to avoid everything else that’s going on in life.
I know here are good days and bad days in any time in life. I can’t expect to go nine months without having days when I just want to curl up and disappear. And I also know that it’s up to me to decide if I’m going to have a good day or a bad day. It’s always in our own power to change our outlook and decide to change our experience of a day. At this point, though, I’m just not sure I have the oomph to get there. Maybe I’ll feel better after a swim, but right now, this day just isn’t working for me.
It was so funny when I first started telling people about being pregnant and that I’m due in Jan. They all said that I was going to suffer during the summer. Of course, no one expected record heat waves during a drought. So yes, I’m suffering.
Also, this sleep stuff feels like training for what’s to come. Last night, I was up from 2:30am until about 4:30. Just as I got back to sleep, my alarm went off (or at least that’s how it felt). As a result, I feel like I’m moving through this day in a daze. I wish I could blame Harley’s late night activities (I’m convinced she’s filming a Zumba DVD in there sometimes) for my wakefullness, but she wasn’t moving around. Instead, I was the one doing the tossing and turning.
Of course all this discomfort is conspiring to make me feel more sensitive, too. I’m worried about things I normally shrug off and taking comments personally that normally wouldn’t affect me. Poor Dean, I think he might come home to a hot, overwhelmed, tearful wife. No wonder he only has sweet things to say to me, even as I devour an entire pint of Cookies and Cream ice cream on my own. Some days, there isn’t enough ice cream in all the world.
… And then I received quite possible the world’s best press release about a brand’s new body shaver and all the manscaping opportunities, and I’m sort of cheered up. Apparently I just needed to read about “man-tackle” and letting the “bald eagle fly free this summer” to feel better. I still think I’ll open that ice cream, though.