I don’t know how I balanced work and motherhood last week

balance

Last week was pure chaos for me. It’s always busy in the local gaming industry in the week leading up to rAge. No, we aren’t building stands or preparing for the expo in the way that the distributors do, but as press we need to book our interviews, coordinate schedules, and get invited to all kinds of events. On top of the usual mayhem, my awesome editor was away, which meant that I was in charge. It was so busy, and I often felt like I was running around like a mad woman. In between it all, I was still looking after Harley.

My little princess seems to be going through the mother of all growth spurts. Or maybe she is teething. Or maybe it’s both – I’m honestly not too sure. All I know is that she was particularly clingy last week. Thankfully, she was also pretty sleepy, getting some longer naps than usual in the mornings. Mostly on me, but still, at least I was able to work while she slept. When she was awake, it was hard to do much of anything – she was so busy but also refused to just sit on the floor and play with her toys for more than a few minutes at a time.

I was so glad I had already made the commitment that I would take her with me to all the things. I scored a last minute interview with an eSports big shot, and instead of stressing about child care, I piled her in the car and off we went for the interview. I got an opportunity to be on 5FM talking about rAge, and she came along, too. No, it wasn’t easy, but it’s pretty much what works for us at the moment. It was a hard week, but whenever I felt like I was dropping the ball with work or family, I tried to remind myself of this video that made me get all teared up when I first saw it:

I know I’m doing the best I can, and that I actually do a lot. I know my colleagues are mostly pretty happy with me – I do most of the stuff that they suck at, and I do it well. I also know that I’m doing a pretty good job with Harley – she is a happy baby who sleeps well no matter where we are and is social and friendly and generally happy. I think I have a tendency to beat myself up for the things I wish I had time to do, for the things I imagine I would get done if life were otherwise. But, this is how my life functions at the moment, and I think I’m actually doing okay.

That said, I have started looking at nursery schools/creches for Harley. I think I found a lovely one and I plan to visit it later this week or next to see if it lives up to what I saw on the website. I’m just hoping that having her in creche for the mornings will help me find more balance – it will mean that she gets some fun play time while I can work, and then when I pick her up I can strive to be done with all the things that I need to do for the day and just spend time with her, also helping to free up my evenings with Dean so that I can enjoy the time with them instead of always feeling like there is more I should be doing.

I’m so glad that last week is over. I’m sorry I didn’t blog at all, but truly it was mayhem for me – I still have emails that need seeing to from last week. I will catch up, and get ahead, but finding the balance was certainly a challenge last week. I think as Harley gets more and more mobile (she is so close to crawling now), it’s going to get harder and harder to get any work done in the day. I know I will find a way, but I think it will be more fair for both of us once she starts school. At least, I hope so.

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  • Wow! That video is just beautiful! It’s so true, though – I think as working moms, we tend to beat ourselves up for all the things we haven’t managed to get to in a day, but if you take a look at everything you managed to accomplish within 24 hours, it’s actually pretty miraculous! My three year old goes to play school in the mornings and it’s been an absolute game changer – I make sure that I get my to-do list for the day done before I fetch him at 12pm, then I spend the afternoons with him. Obviously there are days when it doesn’t quite work out as planned, but I’m pretty happy with our little routine and I feel a whole lot more balanced these days, compared to just a few months ago. Well done for getting through last week! Hope that visiting the little nursery school you have in mind goes well, and that it’s everything you’re hoping for – and more!

    • Zoe Hawkins

      thanks so much, and so glad to hear my fantasy of play school bringing more balance actually could be real! even if it doesn’t work that way every day, if it works that way for some days I will already feel way better.

  • Sounds like you did your best and are making a plan to make it better. I also have those times where the maid lets me down and I have to bring Nicky with to a meeting – not ideal, but hey, part of life!

    • Zoe Hawkins

      I’m just always so impressed by how cool everyone is with it. Nice to know our society is more open to it than we often imagine.

  • K being at school makes me a much better mommy/wife/friend/person. It helps so much. Also yay you for surviving the busy week.

    • Zoe Hawkins

      YAY! so glad my dream that school will help isn’t just me deluding myself 😛

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