Pregnancy is weird. There are beautiful moments, when I see my princess on the scans, or the first time I felt her kick, or when I think about some of the cool things that await once she’s born. With all the people out there who say it’s totally worthwhile and a wonderful experience to be a parent, it can’t just be a giant procreation conspiracy. But that doesn’t mean that they aren’t deluding themselves either.
I’ve noticed a lot recently how people seem to be offended when I point out that pregnancy isn’t exactly pleasant. Whether you have an easy or difficult pregnancy, it’s still filled with all sorts of symptoms that most people try to avoid experiencing. My current gripes are: lack of sleep due to getting up throughout the night to go pee/host the dance party Harley is having; heartburn; swollen hands and feet; carpal tunnel; and the giant awkwardness of carrying around an extra tiny human who throws off my center of gravity and hurts my knees and hips after a while. But apparently, I should be focusing on how magical it is.
Um, no. Yes, it is miraculous to think that Dean and I have made a new human being. It’s incredible to believe that in a couple months she’ll be born and become her own person in the world. It’s magical to think that an afternoon spent alone together could result in new life. But the process is NOT magical, it is uncomfortable and weird and puts all kinds of fun new stresses on me and Dean. I hate being dependent on him about as much as I’m sure he hates having to take care of me all the time. That’s not the normal balance of our relationship – we are both capable adults who try to make each other happy and do things for each other, but are also incredibly independent. Now, I feel like an invalid compared to how I was.
I’m sure it will be worthwhile. I think motherhood could be incredible… and horrible, and then incredible again. There are even more ups and downs waiting for me. But at least once the pregnancy is over people should stop asking us if we’re excited, and raving about how this is such a wonderful and magical time. No, it isn’t. It’s long, uncomfortable and feels abnormal. Sure, we can still have fun and do cool things, but I’m really looking forward to the next phase – I’m over this whole pregnancy thing.