I like to think that I know my husband. I mean, obviously, I know him pretty well. We have been together for about 8.5 years now, got married on our 5 year anniversary and there is no one in this world who I could spend so much time with and never get tired of. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a sappy post about how much I love the man I’m with – he and I don’t do those disgusting Facebook messages to each other proclaiming our unending affection for each other and I’m not about to use this blog for such a purpose.
Instead, I’m grappling with something new. I already know that I love my man, and I know that he loves me. I think I picked the right human to spend the rest of my life with – he makes me so happy, is supportive of my pursuits without ever undermining my own abilities, and he makes me laugh every day. So yeah, things are great and we are definitely rad partners. So, why am I changing everything by adding another human to the mix?
It’s a weird thing to be merging my gene pool with my husband’s. I mean, that’s what we’re doing, right? We are taking a bit of me and a bit of him and merging them into a unique being, Princess Harley. And I am already talking to her when I drive places alone (it’s nice to think that she can maybe hear me, and at least feel my love for her already), and yesterday I was telling her all about some of the cool things that I can’t wait to show her. I’m excited to introduce her to the magic that’s out there in the world, and to see things through her eyes as she discovers everything for the first time.
While there is a ton that nurture can do, there is still the aspect of nature. She will still have her own unique traits that she develops, whether they’re physical or emotional. I’m excited to find out what color eyes she has, and what her hair will be like, and if she’ll end up being taller than Dean or I. I want to know if she has a taste for Indian food or sushi, if she likes to sleep with the lights on or off, and if she ends up as a Trekkie, a Star Wars fan or a Whovian. But there are some other traits that I wonder about, and a recent chat with Dean made me laugh.
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy had many wonderful lines and elements, but one that seems most quoted and referenced is always “Don’t Panic”. Considering that the situations in the book (and subsequent movie) would make anyone panic is all the more reason why it’s a hilarious instruction. Science fiction is filled with all kinds of bizarre things that characters must simply acknowledge, adapt to and accept. It’s part of why I love the genre so much; the jumping off point is that crazy things will happen, but nothing is insurmountable.
Some days, being pregnant feels like a giant sci-fi saga. When people ask how I’m doing, I often compare myself to Sigourney Weaver in Alien. It’s not meant to be hyperbolic or weird, but some days I really do feel like her – all the mixed emotions, strange things happening in my body and the knowledge that just when I think I know what’s going on, it will all change again. I’ve sorta come to terms with it, but there are still some days when it’s utterly overwhelming. I know women have gone through this since the dawn of the species, but it’s still just such a strange experience. The hormones, the worry, the bizarre physical stuff, it really is like some sort of plague that would ravage the globe in a trashy sci-fi movie.
Since falling pregnant, it seems that every horrible thing I experience is “totally normal”. The aches and pains, the irritability, nausea and even carpal tunnel are all “typical” symptoms of pregnancy. I keep laughing about that video that compared pregnancy to a witch’s curse, but it really does seem like growing a human inside you can have some pretty unpleasant side effects.
For the most part, I’ve taken the “suck it up” approach. I know it’s not fun, but it’s a time limited experience and it will be worth it. In the same way that I can’t take my usual pain killers for migraines, I’ve figured that I can’t really do anything about most of my issues other than just deal with it and stop complaining. Well, I’ve now started a new approach, and it’s actually working so much better.
Video games are a whole lot of fun in the moment. They can capture the imagination and make us see the world in new ways. They can also teach us new skills and can be an integral part of a kid’s development. That’s why I’m hoping to get my munchkin into gaming. But not all games are created equal.