Tag Archives: bad mother

You know you’re a good mom if…

good mom

I wrote recently about wishing that I’d been more confident when Harley came home. Not about how to do things, that comes with time, but more that I wish I’d had the confidence to know that I’m the best mommy for Harley, that I’m doing the right things for her and that I really do know what’s best for her (at least for now). While part of that comes with time and experience, it’s also aided or hampered by the people around me – just having people I know and trust tell me how they see I’m a good mom makes me feel more confident. Contrarily, when people question my decisions or outright undermine them, it can make me wonder if I’m a good mom or if they’re right. I’ve heard many people talk about signs that you’re a good or a bad mom, and I thought I’d throw my two cents in (or maybe a bit more).

It’s hard to know if you’re a good mom, mostly because everything we do as parents is so long term. Sure, your kid might thrive developmentally, or might show signs of being well adjusted, but you just won’t know how you did as a parent until months, years or decades down the line. There are some things you can pick up on along the way, and hopefully these help you when you have those moments of doubt. Or, at least I’ll have a post to come back and read when something makes me wonder it for myself. You know you’re a good mom if… Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel. Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.

Motherhood has made me jealous, of time

jealous of time

Last night, Harley wouldn’t go to sleep. I blame myself – I broke her usual routine. We normally use bath time as a natural sedative. I take her for a bath, read her a book, give her boob and put her to bed, and it works like a charm. But I was an idiot last night. I was playing a fantastic game for review, and I just wanted to keep playing/working. Harley was happily playing on the floor with her toys, so I figured she’d play and tire herself out and still go to bed around her normal time. Well, at 10:30 when I was doing anything and everything to try and calm her down and get her to sleep, I realized I was an idiot. But in that exhausted haze, I experienced another feeling and it wasn’t pretty. I was jealous.

You see, while I was playing my game, I was also watching Harley play in the lounge while my husband chilled in the study, watching videos and playing games. It’s not to say he doesn’t help out – he kept an eye on Harley while I did dishes and started dinner, then swapped with me to finish dinner while I hung out with her. He is always fine to spend time with her so that I can take a shower or pop out to the store. But you see, the default is that I’m in charge of her. The default is that I will watch her while I’m watching TV or playing games or working or whatever else. If I ask him to watch her, he does and he’s great with her… until she crawls into the room I’m in saying “mamamamamamama”. Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel. Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.

I am not made for co-sleeping

co-sleeping

If you talk to anyone who has made a person, they will tell you something about co-sleeping. It’s honestly a lovely idea – babies aren’t used to being alone seeing as they were with us all through pregnancy, so they actually prefer to be with us all the time, including during sleep. Many parents around the world share their beds with their little ones. The concept of the family bed is pretty much as old as humanity, and it’s meant to be way more convenient for midnight feeds, and help everyone get a better night’s sleep. But not me.

I knew I wasn’t cut out for co-sleeping even before Harley arrived. I’ve never been able to sleep well next to other people. I can count on one hand the number of people I can share my bed with and still actually sleep. In fact, it’s a way that I gauge comfort with someone – if I can sleep properly next to you, we must be pretty damn compatible. When I slept soundly next to Dean, it was part of how I knew we were pretty awesome together, plus I wanted to keep our bed as a place where it’s just the two of us and not a baby-oriented area. And while I adore Harley with a type of love I’ve never really known before, she simply isn’t my best sleeping companion. But that could also be because I keep worrying about killing her, something I rarely fear with anyone else I’ve ever slept with. Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel. Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.

A morning out to see Disney Africa’s showcase

Disney

On Thursday, it was time for the annual Disney Africa showcase. This is one of my favorite events every year. Sure, there are amazing game launches throughout the year, and an overseas trip for work is amazing, but staying local and doing the local event scene, Disney Africa has this down to an art. The Venue in Melrose is ideal for it – big enough to accommodate everyone without feeling too crowded or too empty. Plus, there is great food and a cool brand showing their stuff. It was to be my first morning out without Harley for more than half an hour or an hour.

Leading up to it, I was so nervous. Harley has been super clingy lately – it’s about the right timing for her to have intense separation anxiety as she understands that we are separate people now and wants me to always be around her. We play lots of peekaboo, and I always tell her that even when I go away, I always come back. I’ve been doing everything I can to try and help her understand this, but I’m not too sure it’s actually working just yet. Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel. Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.

Socks and food and other baby dramas

baby feet

I never really interacted much with moms or babies before joining this special tribe of motherhood. I didn’t particularly like babies. I mean sure, they’re cute and stuff, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to look at one or ooh and aah. But, if I saw a pregnant woman or family with small children walking towards a closed door or carrying things, I’d always open doors or offer to help; if waiting behind a mother and child in the checkout at a store I’d smile, make faces at the kid and maybe tell the mom or dad how adorable or charming their child was.

You know, normal, good human being stuff. But I’d never try to hold someone’s person, I tried to avoid asking weirdly personal questions, and generally just limited my engagement to compliments and smiles or understanding before moving on. I wish more people were like me from back then. Continue Reading

DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?

If you like these words, please check out more of what I say on twitter and Facebook, and pics I take on Instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel. Also, please be sure to sign up to my carefully curated, crafted and infrequent newsletter.