Tag Archives: Bullying

Is bullying ever okay?

cover face bullying

Bullying is awful and a big deal. I don’t envy kids today – thanks to social media, school bullying doesn’t end with the last bell and can cause serious psychological scars. But it’s not just kids who get bullied. There’s that woman who accidentally shared a picture intended for her husband with a whole Whatsapp group, who is being shamed by almost all of South Africa through the continual sharing of her picture. Or the parents of the kid who fell in with Harambe, who were blamed and accused of being bad parents. Or anyone who is shamed in shopping centers for breastfeeding, or for having a toddler throw a tantrum, or for going back to work, or for not going back to work… the list goes on and on.

I often write about feeling judged, about my continual affirmation that no one can tell me how to raise my kid. I’ve talked about not apologizing when Harley cries, or about how I know what’s best for my little one and how irritated I get when other people tell me that she must be cold or need to eat differently. I am adamant that every baby is different and that I don’t care what people do – if they want to use disposable or cloth nappies, if they opt for breast or bottle, if they stay home or work, if kids are put in creche/day care or stay home with a nanny or au pair. Everyone needs to make life work for them, and who am I to judge anyone for any of those decisions? So I’ve been a bit taken aback by a new instinct I’ve had. Continue Reading

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On raising a girl strong enough to be called a dumb woman

cyber bullying

It was a bit of a difficult weekend for me. I had fun and it wasn’t something on my mind the whole time, but there was some drama at work. The joy of my work being on the internet is that the whole world can see it. Over on lazygamer.net, I wrote a review of NBA 2K16. It’s a really great game when you get to experience the cool basketball action, but it’s also primarily locked behind online servers, so if the severs are down, the gameplay experience is seriously less than optimal. I wrote about the good and the bad in my review, the way I have for countless games, but the response I got was filled with quite a lot of vitriol. I’m used to this, and have come to expect it, but it affected me in a new way this time.

I often joke with the guys at work about being the only woman, about how my opinions are automatically seen as less valid because I have a vagina. The reality is that when people agree with me, they generally don’t even notice my gender. When they disagree, the easiest thing to do is blame the fact that I’m just an idiot woman who shouldn’t be writing game reviews. We laugh at the comments like that, and often joke about feeding off the hate. But now I’m bringing a little girl into the world, and even if she is the smartest person alive, she will be criticized for what she thinks because she’s a woman. Continue Reading

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