Tag Archives: Friends

Support networks and other necessary things

support network

Being a mom is hard. Actually, let me correct that, being a human is hard. Even before becoming a mom, I had plenty of ups and down in life. Life is hard no matter where you are, who you are and what your background is. Sure, there are some ways that things can be made easier, but no one lives a charmed life. However, being a mom feels even more trying because you often feel alone.

I don’t know what it is that’s so lonely about motherhood – maybe it the sleep deprivation, or the weird things your baby or partner does that you think can’t be normal and you must the only one experiencing. Maybe it’s all the weird comments or visuals we see on TV or online – those picture perfect moments where moms and babies just coo at each other and everyone looks happy and well rested, with perfect hair and clean clothes. Instead, so many women struggle with feelings of inadequacy, inferiority and painful loneliness. This is why we all need support networks. Continue Reading

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Kids or friends

friends my little pony

I have some wonderful friends. Some of them have come through for me in massive ways, supporting me while Harley was in the NICU, coming over for wine or meeting for lunches since she’s been home, and generally just being awesome and supportive. I remember trying to do the same when I had friends with babies – going to their house if easier, being the one to reach out more because I figured they were busy, that sorta thing. It just makes me sad to realize that I’m also losing friends now.

Before Dean and I decided we wanted to spawn a minion, he told me that I could choose, kids or cats. I opted for cats, and we have two adorable furry babies. Unlike those little ones, though, it seems that procreating has gotten in the way of my social life. At least for some friends. But I’m wondering how much of a bad thing that is. Continue Reading

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The search for diverse friends

diversity

There are so many things that I want to teach Harley, but I know not all of it can come from the words I speak to her or the actions she mimics. Some of it has to be experienced. One of those things that I think is really important for her to learn is that there’s no reason to discriminate against anyone based on their race, religion or sexual orientation. Awesome people and assholes can belong to any grouping – there are simply a range of people out there and you have to get to know them before you can make any conclusions about them; it can’t be done based on stereotypes.

Over the years, I’ve lived in many different countries and had friends from a variety of backgrounds. As a kid, I honestly didn’t even see race, with it needing to be pointed out to me years later that my first crush was on a dark skinned boy, or that I was raised with a different religion to my classmates. I’d like for Harley to also experience that diversity, and my plan to send her to international schools will definitely help with that. However, I also need to make some more diverse friends for our kids to play together before then… but it’s kind of an awkward task. Continue Reading

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