Tag Archives: Sex

Here’s what I’ve learned about breastfeeding

breastfeeding mom

I was convinced that breastfeeding would be straight forward – a no brainer. My mom was a La Leche League leader back in the day (but not one of the crazy ones, I swear) so she would be able to give me all sorts of answers, plus I read a ton of articles and books about it before Harley arrived. If there was one thing I knew, it was breastfeeding. Well, not really. So, in honor of World Breastfeeding Week, here’re all the things I’ve learned so far.

When Harley arrived so early, she wasn’t able to nurse. Sure, I’ve seen beautiful stories since with babies nursing while in the NICU, but Harley simply couldn’t. She didn’t really have a sucking reflex, had to be fed through a tube. Just learning how to suck, swallow and breathe as a cooperative activity took weeks. I was still so proud that I was able to pump for her while she was in the hospital, that I could give her milk and feed her and help her grow. It was sort of the only thing I could do for her while she was in there, and it made me feel useful, maternal. But things changed so much along our nursing journey. Continue Reading

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Yup, I’m still myself

I'm still myself

Motherhood is a big deal, and certainly changes a lot. It’s why I write about baby stuff, and parenting, and motherhood, and a whole host of other topics. Motherhood has changed me in some ways – I am even more sensitive to certain issues and current events, and I spend a good portion of my day singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider instead of watching hilariously graphic YouTube videos. But, that doesn’t mean I’m not still the same person that I always was.

Awesome friend of this blog, Cassey Toi sent me a great link yesterday. The writer talks about how she isn’t a shadow of her former self, she’s still in there. And no, maybe she doesn’t go out drinking the way she used to, but she’s also in her 30s now. This bit in particular resonated for me: Continue Reading

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Promiscuous feminists, rape culture, bathrooms and mothering a daughter

stanford rape case

I tried to write this post yesterday and failed miserably. Maybe it’s because I felt like there was a lack of focus to my post, or maybe because there were so many things I wanted to write about. It felt like a jumbled mess and I wasn’t sure how to share it. But then I realized that just because my thoughts are a jumbled mess doesn’t mean I shouldn’t share them. So, here’s what I’m thinking about at the moment, mostly inspired by the whole Stanford rape case situation.

It starts with location. I remember when I was getting ready to move to South Africa, I was very aware that Joburg was the rape capital of the world – not exactly an accolade for the city. I was worried that I would become a victim, that South Africa would feel more dangerous than any other place I’ve ever lived. Luckily, I still live a very safe life, but I am aware of the risks in this country. Then again, I’m no more aware here than I was growing up in New York City, or living in LA or any other city. It’s an awareness and vigilance that women worldwide need to have. Continue Reading

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Mother F-er (baby edition)

sex

Back when I was pregnant, I wrote about sex. At the time, things were a bit weird and awkward. My libido was pretty much normal, and physically I was enjoying sex more than ever thanks to increased blood flow below the waist. However, Dean and I were both struggling with some psychological issues with sexy time – it was weird that my orgasm would give Harley the same chemicals to her brain as it does to mine, and Dean didn’t like that proximity of his member to the tiny baby inside me. I was worried that this was a taste of what was to come. Were we going to develop a madonna/whore complex together, making future intimacy impossible?

Since Harley has been born, things have changed, obviously. I am way, way more tired than I ever imagined that I would be. I knew that a baby would be tiring, but it’s exhausting in a whole other way. You see, it’s not just sleep deprivation. In fact, Harley is mostly sleeping through the night, only waking up once or twice for quick feeds and then back to sleep. However, after a day of bouncing, singing, reading, changing nappies, nursing and whatever else, I am pretty much shattered. When the little on goes down for the night, I’m not far behind on getting into bed. I hardly ever even read before sleep, and finding time for intimacy is more tricky, but not impossible. Continue Reading

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Mother F-er

feet-224680_1280

I was going to go all the way and swear in the title of this post, but I figured Google would hate me forever and ever and I would actually like people to feel comfy sharing stuff if they want without issues of profanity. Anyway, swearing isn’t the point of this blog post, but sex is.

Obviously, in order to get into my current state of knocked-upedness (totally a word), I had sex with my awesome husband who I adore. Plenty of it, you know, just to be sure. I’m not sure whether it was going off the pill that boosted my sex drive to record level heights, or the fact that sex seemed purposeful, but we were rather randy and had a whole lot of fun with “making a baby”.

Now, the baby is made and Princess Harley is growing by the second inside me. Luckily, thanks to the increased blood flow below the waist and a general lack of nausea, my libido is still as healthy as ever. Being ever the researcher, I read up on sex during pregnancy just to make sure everything was still all good to go. Apparently, it’s not only okay to do it, but it’s actually good for me and the baby. It helps relieve stress, the rocking motion is nice for the growing munchkin, and the chemicals released upon climax into my blood stream also make her feel good, helping the baby to sleep instead of continually doing back flips in there. Continue Reading

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